i close my eyes and everything comes.

there you are. [you] being the hole that i have. [you] being this fucking urgency, this roadkill in my chest.

there you are. we're both holding hands and having a laugh. we're both so fucking in that very moment that my eyes cross, my legs lock.

i kiss you on the mouth hard.
i bring you inside.
i handcuff you to my right wrist.


i make you watch me sleep incessantly.
i make you cook me meals [three times a day]
i make you tell me stories.
i ask you if its ok for us not to talk today.
for us to just sit.in.silence.
you NOD yes.

youre so fucking perfect, always paying attention.

i let my love come out.
you take it in. and give it back to me. i am warm.

i have you self.
now fucking fall in love with me.
hurry up.
because there is no other way for me to come clean with myself.


---------well intentioned, but fell too short.