my tummy is growing. full of half-hopes & misdirected over-eating. i will be fat again. i will fit into clothes that (for a short-time) felt big and much too much for me, clothes i smiled at the idea of never fitting into again.

i want to be light, eating nothing heavier than air.
but i dont know how to keep studying. keep learning & keep starving.

goodbye thin. goodbye feeling good. feeling like i could walk in and have NO ONE THINK: fat.

hello nine-month race toward 156.