just because you feel it doesnt mean it's there.

i didn't come up with it. it's hard for me to come up with anything. i like chemistry. sometimes it feels really good to understand that everything around us is made of that same stuff as us. whatever we are made of, everything else is made of that same substance.

inverse functions are fun too because suddenly your output is your input and X is now Y. it feels good to figure them out. like you can pretend you're figuring out something about relations, and you are, just of a simpler kind; one that won't leave you if they think you've wronged them or if they feel slighted/less than/replaced/or just plain ignored.

i can't wait to look at everything in intervals. i think it will make everything make a little more sense.

today i wrote six pages about jesus. some of it was about what an awesome teacher he was. some of it was about his giant respect for women and how it was one of the most radical parts of his entire ministry---offering full discipleship to ladies was not heard of in first century palestine. but most of my paper was about the resurrection event as presented in the gospel of John. i like john, i like when he says that he wrote down these things that jesus did so that we (the readers) may come to believe and have life. doesn't that sound nice? to have life. it's pretty and makes me want to smell grapefruit while kissing on a sunday morning.

i miss everything.
i'm scared of everything.
please don't go.